It’s been 24 years since she died but the ache does not ever go away. I miss my mom. I wish she were here. I wish she could have known my kids. I wish they could have known her. I wish I could have shared the past 24 years of my life with her. I wish she could still give me advice. I think of her often and of course on mother’s day.
I remember being a child in my mom’s kitchen, sitting with my 80-something grandmother. Nanny was reminiscing about her own mom, crying about missing her mom who had died over 40 years prior. I remembering wondering what it would be like to love someone so much that you would cry over them 40 years later. I learned what that would be like 24 years ago. I think of Nanny a lot. I remember her with love and admiration.
I remember my Aunt Pearl, mom’s sister. She was a very smart, very sharp woman. Pearl talked non stop. She asked tons and tons of questions. She wanted to know everything. Her passion for life, for her children, for her family, her nieces, nephews and grandchildren was insatiable. She was a wise woman who left me with many poignant learnings and memories.
Ma is another strong, wise woman who came into my life when I met my then boyfriend who became my husband. She was a happy, spirited, fun and wise woman who cared deeply about the world. She opened her house to everyone and always made people feel welcome. I learned many lessons from her.
All of these strong women’s blood and ancestry run through my veins and in my heart. I know that they are with me and my children. I feel them surrounding me often. I love them and pay tribute to them every day.